Thank you,my friends. It's just another bump in the road. I know everything will turn out ok eventually. I will have to do physical therapy before and after the surgery, if I need surgery. My poor knee blew up today. It hurts and it's ugly. I get my MRI tomorrow night. I don't need a man, I know, it would just be nice, lol. I've gotten through 3 surgeries since my ex left, 2 with a rather young child and no help. My dad will help if/when I have my surgery and will try to come out next week if I'm still pretty immobile to do some housework and grocery shopping for me. My friends got their own things going on with their kids being home from summer and stuff, so I don't want to bother them.
I saw a psychic today. She was on point with some things and my mother came through. I was freaked because she described her to a T, how she left this earth, how she is mentally ill and she said how I need to stop living with the guilt and she is sorry she wasn't the mom she wanted to be and I needed her to be. I was a bit blown away by that part. Then she asked if I had a recent break-up and she told me how I am spinning in my head over it. She also told me he wasn't the one. But the significant thing that she sees in my future is a new guy, but it isn't going to work if I don't change the dynamic. She says I give too much too soon. I need to give a little and take a little and he has to put in equal effort. That blew me away a little too, because I barely spoke during the reading so I couldn't give ANYTHING away. Which brings me to my online buddy. He wants to go out and take me to see his friends band. I told me how that he has chosen not to date in so long that he has learned to fill his life in with other stuff. GAL?! He said he just needs to figure out when he can see me. I respect that as I live the same way. He told me basically it was a weird fate that we are even talking and he didn't expect it. he had signed up a long time ago, subscription expired, he would just browse, but he didn't pay. One night he was playing on his phone, fell asleep and he must have reactivated the account. And he had no intention of talking to anyone. He is so down to earth and honest it's refreshing. I will not set myself up to expect anything great though. But talking to him has just been nice. His wife cheated and left too. His view is just like mine.
And finally, something horrible that really made me stop the self-pity crap with my knee. There is a friend of one of my best friends who has been through hell and back. She and her husband had a baby who was born with an illness that caused a cleft palate and a hole in the heart. Her heart was repaired, but she suffered vocal cord paralysis and died at 6 months old. She grienved so hard as expected, then got pregnant a few later again. She didn't announce until 17 weeks. She went for her 20 week scan and there was no heart beat. The cord had wrapped around her neck. She had to deliver her dead baby. She got pregnant again with a beautiful health girl who is now 4 months old. She's been posting some stuff about breakups. I asked my friend about her and it turns out her husband left her for a 24 year old. This woman is a beautiful loving soul. How can so many horrible things happen to one person. She was barely hanging on by a thread as it is. I feel so awful for her and I want to cut off her husbands d!ck.
