I think assertive action is much more attractive than passivity.. Nothing is attractive about a passive man. Passivity is a picture of a close-mouthed, mousey, hutch-down, "Yes Dear" man. Open you mouth and express your opinion, and say, "We are going to the restaurant I have chosen". Do not walk around on egg shells on your own home.

Assertive actions are attractive, plus it is a must when a man is has W who demonstrates an act of disrespect.

As for controlling......not at all. Listen, two cards the WW use most are the "control card" where she sees you being more assertive and starts accusing you of trying to control her. Pay it no attention. It is her trying to get her power away from you. The other card is the "guilt card" where she tries to manipulate you through guilting you.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!