Sounds like the only issue you really have is that your name is on the mortgage, correct?
Yes. No other entanglements. We had a joint account for expenses, but it was my paycheck going in there and I took the money out and had my direct deposit changed back to my personal account.
Our agreement was that he was putting down the money and would be helping with out of the ordinary expenses, but I'd be covering the ordinary ones. With our financial situations, this made sense.
We were both earning extra rental income from renting out our properties we owned before moving in together/buying the house. So, aside from his money not being liquid, living there was advancing both of our financial situations. Prior to this, he was living on an overdraft line of checking, since he didn't get paid regularly. The rental income was freedom to him, but I guess he doesn't want that anymore because it would mean being with me.
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If you aren't planning to move or finance any major consumer debt like a car, then it probably isn't the worst thing in the world.
I do need to get a car in the near future as mine is pretty old. I am in watch and wait mode on that. I don't want to get one too soon, as I'm paying off a credit card, and I only have outdoor parking next to college students.
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So what has he hired the lawyer to do?
It seems like it is to draw up documents/make offers. However, I think the first offer was verbal. And I guess trying to twist things so I'm the one initiating documents and they're reacting, which is what I'm finding massively unfair.
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Come after you for 1/2 the mortgage payments or the down payment?
The mortgage payment thing was the reason I got my attorney. I wanted to know what could happen if I moved out and stopped paying. He helped me understand my risk was low, and if anyone could come after me, it would be the lender as part of foreclosure proceedings.
He can't come after me for the down payment, because he made it.
With 50% of the house and nothing in writing about what would happen if it sold, he'd be in deep trouble there if I were feeling vindictive. But that could also open the door to endless litigation, with him suing me.
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Unless you signed some kind of promissory note to him then I don't imagine he has any legal recourse regarding the downpayment.
Absolutely nothing in writing. In the time up to closing, I was wondering why he wasn't getting an attorney, but I didn't speak up about it. I assumed it meant he was very committed to me and very sure about our relationship.
My only true risk is foreclosure. If he let it go into foreclosure, he'd lose his money and his credit would be impacted. I just have the credit issue, so that's why I'm not too worried about it.
Thanks for talking through this with me. I'm going to speak to my lawyer today and ask that he make it clear to ex's attorney that they will do the work on this, since he is the one who wanted to get rid of me and sell.
I'm not going to hustle and pay my attorney to draw up agreements. This isn't really my emergency and I don't want the guilt on my shoulders. If he wanted this, then he can send me potential agreements to sign to get it done. I will sign one that I find fair.
I'm trying to stay solely focused on what is most comfortable to me. I am not going out of my way to cause him problems, but my wellbeing and comfort is my focus after he ended the relationship.
I want him to be responsible for cleaning up the mess he's made. It feels insulting that I'd be paying my attorney to produce agreements for a sale I never even wanted. The sale is not a priority for me; my wellbeing, performing well at work, and finishing graduate school to get some magical letters after my name that will open so many doors for me are what count now.
