Journaling, but I'd appreciate any thoughts on this:

So, here we are. Mid-July. There is still no agreement on the house.

H finally got a lawyer after calling my mother toward the end of May and hearing that it wasn't likely that I'd want to work with him one on one. He'd been spewing at me and trying to pick fights before I moved out, and that's not someone I trust to have my interest in mind.

He and his lawyer drafted an agreement with a paltry amount going to me. My lawyer and I rejected it. Then there was a long stretch of nothing happening. His lawyer was, in my lawyer's words, "nagging" him about us putting something together. My lawyer asked me to put together an accounting of all my extra expenses from this, which I did, and asked that he not share it with H or his lawyer. It was simply to identify my bottom line.

I did a great deal of soul searching, trying to figure out what amount I'd feel comfortable with. I didn't want to be vindictive, but I also didn't want to protect H from consequences of his own choices. I wanted it to be about me. So tallying my expenses that came as a result of his decision was incredibly helpful to me. That's what I want - to be reimbursed for the fallout of his unilateral decision.

H wanted to get it on the market as soon as possible. Again, it's July now.

My lawyer got back in touch with me, and wanted to know if I wanted to draw something up. He sent me something where I ask for cash up front in exchange for agreeing to all the terms of (future) sale. It's much more than I want, with the intention of negotiating down.

However, I'm stuck on this thought: How is this MY problem? Why should I be paying for my attorney's time in drafting documents, rather than receiving them from the guy who so desperately wanted to get rid of me and the house?

Obviously, I don't want to drive him to throw his hands up and get the property foreclosed upon. I think that is unlikely, since he has a significant amount invested in it, and I don't. I have a little bit. He has much more on the line than I do.

I really don't want to speculate too much on what is going on. If I had to guess, H is frozen, as he gets when he incurs too much stress. I am guessing the post-Cadence life isn't as breezy and filled with carnal delights with intelligent, sane, and beautiful women. I am guessing he has heard from a select few people "You did what??! But you seemed so happy."

But, I know nothing. He hasn't reached out, and it's not my job to reach out and try to solve this for him. I was always the rational balancing personality when he was mired down in stress (mostly caused by the ex-wife) in the past, and that's not my job anymore, because he fired me.

I am comparing myself to those who stand, who don't file for D and let their S be the one forced to make that call. I am thinking about me. I don't want to draft an agreement and have that on my shoulders when I never wanted any of this in the first place. I don't want to pay the elevated rate for my lawyer to prepare documents. I want to concentrate on work and school, since H's springtime shenanigans meant that I lost my 4.0 GPA (I'm down to 3.97 now, and I'm mad as heck about it).

So, folks, how is this my problem? Am I right to not want to propose any terms, force him to drive the sale if that's what he wanted so badly, and do nothing other than respond to his proposals?