It sounds like you're criticizing yourself a little, but to me, you sound so much stronger than you were even last week. Sometimes, there's strength in weakness and vulnerability. I think you have hit your bottom and you're about to start standing back up. And, honey, you're gonna shine, shine, shine!
Hugs!!!
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014