Cadet: I think my reason for emailing is to clarify my boundary because I think he didn't hear me. I said no to talking now unless he made a significant gesture to show me some respect. But I also said the window for any talking stops when the divorce is final. His 'not my paradigm' comment stuck with me...I think he heard an endless open door and that isn't true. What would I need him to do? Pretty simple but I didn't spell that out either. Agree a generous � settlement to stop the to/fro that he thinks is stopping us talking but I need to protect myself. Press the pause button on finalising the divorce for 6 months to give us a chance to talk. Talk to me f2f. So it's about being clear (boundaries are tough) and knowing that his listening/memory skills are pretty poor right now.
I will stick with my previous advice, he either DID hear you and chooses to ignore your boundary. Or he didn't hear you and no amount of talking begging or pleading is going to change him. Either way not detaching is unlikely to bring you closer to your goal.
