First time here, part 3

[leahsue]

Just as soon as I got on here and asked, what does "feel the pain" really look like..... I got a first-hand lesson. So crazy. My little faithful dog who is 13, tends to get hot spots, then keeps them irritated, and every now and then has to go to the vet, get antibiotic, etc. Usually I can catch it early, put baby socks on her little feet, and keep the scratching from making an open sore. Well, with everything else going on, I let one on her shoulder go too far, with me just trying to treat it at home, and today it looked awful. So I took her to the vet, they cleaned the place up and shaved around it, and by the time they had left the room to go get her meds for me to take home, she had ripped it right open again, blood everywhere. They said not to cover it, that it needed air, etc... so here I go to Walmart to buy more baby socks, wipes, and stuff. I left the car locked and running with her in it, and when I came out, she had torn into the place and (although it looks WAY worse than the actual sore, because she is white so the blood stains a much bigger area) and is sitting in the driver's seat of the car, looking up at me with these huge, sad eyes, and people, I just lost my $hit. I got in the car, held her, and cried and cried and cried. I just sat there until I could breathe again, and we came on home. Normally, that kind of thing would have just been, wow, this isn't cool, but today, it triggered something. Maybe that H has not even seemed to miss her these last 6 months, and this would have been a moment I would have picked up the phone and we would have talked it through, what to do, oh poor little dog...... and it just felt so ALONE.

So maybe today, I let myself feel the pain. Was sad. Cried. Then put the car in drive, and went home.

I guess be careful when you ask the universe a question. Because you may get the answer that very day.