I guess I struggle with the fantasy I have in my head about W.
I think back to all the times she was there for me. All the times she made me feel loved. Was all of that a facade? Fake?
Clearly W has issues. Does that mean what we had wasn't genuine?
Like I said in an earlier post, I'm trying to view W from a more honest lens. But it hurts to see her this way because it makes me feel like maybe the last 7 years were all fake.
Maybe I'm just an optimist and I try to see the good in people. More likely, I'm codependant and I tried to help fix W into becoming someone she's not?
I dunno, all of this time apart really has given me the opportunity to think about things and see them from different perspectives.
Dont get me wrong, I miss W. I really miss her. And I really miss her D and spending time with her. But the truth is something is broken and there's nothing I can do to fix it except work on myself and leave her to work on her stuff.
It just seems like so many of these issues could be easily resolved. But alas, I wouldn't be here if they were.
