I think your h is somewhere between replay, the deep dark depression and a little bit of withdrawal. He really hasn't acted out much w/his replay and he feels safe and comfortable in his little dorm room w/nothing earth shattering happening to make him move from that spot. He is trying, in his own way, to get reactions out of you to justify his behavior and you aren't giving it to him. He's not going to change his life and the way he's living until something earth shattering takes place. This man is glued to that room. LOL!

It's up to you how long you want to continue down this road, but you've been doing a great job of living your life. I would suggest that you take more than a day or two to get away. Your adult child is focusing entirely too much on what you are doing and/or not doing and not working on himself.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.