On Higher Ground

[HaWho]

Job, if you are reading, I have a question for you. Is my h stuck in replay? Can you tell? Prior to this you've always said dig deep for patience but you don't say that anymore.

Hi Mleigh - nice to hear from you!

Roist - while there are those common symptoms to depression, as we all become our opposite, I guess we all travel differently.

I wanted to be left alone. Period. I didn't want his help. I didn't think I needed help (until I woke up). I am a people person who is very comfortable admitting my errors/faults. So this was my opposite persona I guess. Sad.

I had a rough day at work today. In the middle of it all my phone starts blowing up and without looking at it I know it's the most immature boy in my house: h. Yep.

Looks like his paranoia is full bloom. Want to note it in case there are others whose MLCers go the paranoid route.

He sent me a really long text accusing me of stealing the credit card bill? Looks like this month's statement has not come in the mail? He said it's awfully coincidental that I was asking about credit card spending and now the statement was 'stolen'. He also reminded me that I stole his computer. (Probably the statement is late due to the long holiday weekend.)

Then he ended by saying that there are bigger things at stake than my personal problems if that mail was stolen by someone else. (I have no idea what he is talking about here). I am curious to know what my "personal problems" are???

Anyway, what I WANTED to say was: "this is so stupid!! Why would I 'steal' my own mail?!? I can see the statements online or call about each and every transaction." But instead I wrote: "No. I did not."

I came home, made eye contact, said hi. He ignored me. I sense that he wants a reaction out of me.

Oh and last week after ignoring me for days, he took s13 out for icecream and then brought me home one out of the blue. I thanked him and he resumed talking to me. He really is like one of those bratty teenage girls; one day you're in and the next day, you're not.

But, I have to say this past week has been very peaceful. I have decided to really let it all go. De-personalize it completely. And there is a calm that comes with it. And somehow, from my vantage point, it has altered the dynamic.

It's hard to describe but I truly no longer care what happens. I recognize that it's totally irrational for me to be responsible for the whole m and to take on his issues. It's very freeing.