I am back.. Blood work for diabetes and thyroids.. she is not to concern with cholesterol as she sees me healthy and strong. By the way, she was a replacement for my family doctor.
I had to repeat my story from the last 10 years. My battle with anxiety since then and my current situation. She sees it as dealing with an alcoholic. The luring, the empty promises, the guilt trips etc.. She asked if I had a sense of pride. Absolutely and also GRATITUDE for our outcome.
She asked what I do for me to calm myself in times of overwhelm.. Me time.. She suggested running to trick my brain into beleiveng my fast heart rate is due to running and not due to the to-do wheel list. releasing the serotonin into the body.. also, yoga to calm the spirit and bring you into the NOW ( at this very moment ) relaxing, breathing... Of course, as Andrew said, QUIT SMOKING!! lol I knew it would come up.
My blood pressure is excellent, thyroid seem find to the touch but will be tested, breast exam was good, heart beat was a little fast and skipping a beat from time to time. She could hear it but was not alarmed by it and no other testing will be done for the heart.
That is it.. pap test is scheduled and blood work will get done probably wedn. morning.
Andrew : I did have counselling on and off in the first 5 years. I have a few people who I tell all and they give me emotional support. I am not afraid nor a shame of asking for help. I come here, vent, calm down and think of my next move. yes, I am in Ontario. A small community of less than 5000 people. As for ex-h' s request for a 24 hours notice: forget it.. no rules apply to him. Not even court order. He is a cop with his own set of rules. He will not apply to himself the rules he dictate to us. NONE, ZERO
Job: Thank you so much for your support. We did not address chores yet as they are with ex-h for a few days. I think they need a break from me and me from them but it will be address when they return.
HaWho : If I ask, they usually deliver but since school has been done, they are on HOLIDAYS.. no more rules, work or curfew.. This will not work with me. I will write a to-do list for each day of the week and maybe a few less hours with friends. have a schedule of no friends allowed between the hours of ?? I will figure it out. consequences are easy. D14 is a social butterfly... want friends over, get the work done. D17 loves to drive my car. She will do her driving test next month. want to drive, get the work done.. Those 2 things are their lives. it should have an impact.
Fight On, thank you for your advice. Like I said above, I release (vent), I calm down, I think of my next move and if it does not work, I come back here and re-process another plan of action.
Getting ideas and feed back from others, I appreciate very much! With so much gratitude,
yes, I am in Ontario. A small community of less than 5000 people.