Annab, what you said is very wise. No, I'm not willing to take a stand that I can follow through on if it's something like - you do this or we're done. No ultimatums because we know that doesn't work. So I don't know how to regain my power. I did read Codependent No More at one point, but I guess it didn't do it for me. W continues to say one thing and do another. Yesterday ow emailed her (LOL - apparently mildly chastising W for not including her on an email about work stuff.) W and I agreed that there was no need for a reply. I thanked W for telling me, said that's exactly what I hoped our agreement would do - make it easy for her to tell me whenever there is any contact, and we went about our day. But then this morning I asked, anything else from ow? So W said she had emailed her back promising to keep her on any related communications in the future. So that set me off again. We agreed you wouldn't respond and you emailed her back? And more importantly, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME LIKE YOU AGREED TO??? That was followed by a threat to "spend the night out" and then a full day of silence until she called a little bit ago saying she'd spend the night at home. I said, "Do you really think threatening to spend the night out helps me trust you?" She admitted that it doesn't, and admitted that she "should have told" me about the email. But I never get the answer to the question: "Why do you keep breaking your promise about telling me whenever there is any contact?" She continues to hide her phone and change the password so I can't really see what/when/how or if they are in touch. And then we fight about it. It's really the only thing we fight about these days. I keep calling her on it and making her life miserable when I find out she has lied because what other recourse do I have???
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
