First time poster-needs advice

[mm2bs]

Thanks Tobias and Another. Good question about time. To be honest I think it's a little of both. Many times it is last minute requests and the kids and I have plans to do something I don't necessarily want to change. I guess I could, but it's not what I want.

I feel like it took a lot to come up with the arrangement we have and from my perspective it really maximizes the time we each get to spend with the kids. Our schedule isn't the typical every other week/every other weekend because of our work schedules. Each of us gets to see the kids every day. That can be difficult because we do have a lot of exchanges and interactions, but when he decided to leave we agreed it was probably best for the kids to keep their routine about the same.

It seems to me that he only wants me to switch times with him when friends are doing things with their kids and he wants to come along. Most of them are married so flexibility is much easier. I've asked that he plan these activities during the time he has the kids, but his response is I doubt anyone will go...I'm not sure how to respond.

So long short answer is yes, sometimes it is inconvenient, other times I want to "punish" him so he can see what divorce really is. That I'm not always just going to go along with what he wants.

I've definitely been getting out more and went on my first solo vacation with the kids. We met up with some of their friends and parents and had a really good time. On the outside I doubt you could tell how much I really still feel conflicted and sad on the inside. I just want my inside to match the outside