At least you realize it is the same. It is. Completely. Rinse and repeat.
You can move swiftly for a legal separation to protect your financial interests (assuming your state has that option). If not move for a separation contract. It does not have to be a divorce and you do not have to give up hope forever. You do need to follow Sandi's advice though and give up hope for now. You need to do that for you and your boys.
I took some heat for telling you that it didn't matter if there was an OW. I told you that because I sensed you still wouldn't let go and you were still creating all these boundaries you had no intention of following (all of the I'm done if this or that talk). You know there is an OW and you still don't want to let go. That is ok. Don't be shamed into doing something you don't want because of what anyone else says. Just please, stop drawing hard lines in the sand. Stop projecting the way you feel today across the rest of your life. Just take it day by day. Decide how you can behave today. I love the advice you've been giving on acting vs. reacting. Also, keep working on letting go of your control issues. I hope the snooping has come to an end. Given that you still want him in your lives despite the OW, anything you learn from this point on will just make that harder.
