We go outside and stare at each other for a second and she says "Dale what do you want to do about us?". I say you already know what I want. This time I take a page from TXs handbook and lay down some boundaries. I realized that my boundaries were implicit before hand.
Why are you laying down boundaries for recon when all she asked was what you want to do? You should have just said "you know what I want, now tell me what YOU want." That would have been a great opportunity to LISTEN and VALIDATE. Instead you made it all about what YOU want, which she ALREADY KNOWS. First she needs to express a desire to recon, THEN you can establish boundaries.
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She then said I can get any woman I want and asked why would I ever take her back because she's a piece of crap. Don't remember my exact reply but I said something to the tune of she's my wife and I love the person she used to be.
Next time try "You are right, and I am open to the possibility that I will move on and find someone else." Make her think she may lose you.
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She then said if we R she is going to be hyper critical of me.
Wow, she's putting you on notice that she's going to be a B**** to you? I think I would have said "then you're not ready to recon. When you feel you can come back to this R with love in your heart then we can talk about recon then."
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She also tried to tell me I ruined her R with her dad because her dad still wont acknowledge her. I just said I told him the truth, nothing more nothing less.
It's tempting to assign the blame to her, but that's a situation where validation rules the day- "it sounds like you are upset because you feel I did something to drive a wedge between you and your dad, I am sorry I made you feel that way." Note that you are not accepting blame, you are merely acknowledging her feelings.
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So Im writing this mainly because I'm stuck.
Why? What did this change? Nothing, continue on your previous course.
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she said she hasn't bathed in 3 days and all she does is sleep.
Wow. Sounds like some depression going on there.
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I been doing so great with GAL, meeting new people including women, and just extremely proud of myself. Im 30 years old, no kids and starting to wonder if this is even worth it. I been lied to 100s of times, insulted a lot, and just plain crapped on. I can see a turning point is near, good or bad. Needing some inspiration to keep going.
Brother, you should be your own inspiration You've been GALing, enjoying yourself, finding yourself, moving on and detaching. THAT is EXACTLY what you should keep doing.
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Ideally, I want to R with W and continue marriage as Im pro marriage.
She's not ready yet. Read TXHubby's thread, your W needs to get to that same point where she greatly humbles herself before you should even think about recon.
You've been GALing, enjoying yourself, finding yourself, moving on and detaching. THAT is EXACTLY what you should keep doing.