I still struggle with letting go and not wondering what he is doing. While we have 50/50 custody of the kids H is not happy because I am not flexible with him when it's convenient. I struggle because I know the kids need their Dad, but he is the one who didn't want a family or marriage anymore so I feel like I don't need to go out of my way to make life easier for him.
I'm just curious, do you do this to punish H or is he asking things that are just very inconvenient for you? I was really flexible on visitation with XW after S and D because I found that sometimes I needed her to be flexible too. Sometimes I have a surprise business trip on my week to have the kids (now kid, two are grown and moved out) for example. And that has worked well for us.
Originally Posted By: mm2bs
I continue to go out with friends and do things for myself when the kids are with their Dad, but any other suggestions on ways to help me move past this? It's been so long I thought things would be better by now....and while they definitely are I still have soo far to go
Well, the recovery process is not linear or predictable. You're 3 years post BD and that is quite a while, but your personal recovery may take longer than that for others. It sounds like you've got some GAL activities, maybe try to add more in where you make new friends? I didn't have trouble meeting new people, but for those that do I've heard that meetup.com is great for that. It's not a dating site, it's a site where you plug in your interests (hiking, kayaking, sight-seeing, etc. etc.) and you'll get suggestions on upcoming group events.
