Sometimes they don't come out of it. For my W it was when I switched attitudes and filed for D. I was patient for almost 3 years. DB'd seriously for about a year. Spent the first two doing everything wrong. She still owned me and she knew it. It was when I finally said I'd rather be alone than with her and filed for D did mine snap out of it.
For others it might be when they find out an AP is really just trash (like they themselves are while they're cheating). You never know really. I consider myself "lucky". My sitch could have gone either way but the upside is at that time I didn't care which way. Life with or without her was going to be just fine for me. She realized, however, that life with me would be far better for her than life without me. That's another reason that BS's/LBS's have to become the best version of themselves they can possibly be. That's attractive. If the WS/WAS doesn't respond, others will.
