KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[KGirl]

Thanks, all. I'm super late to rejoining this party. That whole life thing gets in the way... normally I'm a pretty low-key work person (like, hate to work more than 40 hours a week, don't like to do too much that takes a lot of planning or big picture thinking or conceptual undertaking) but I tried to step outside of my comfort zone and took on a big committee chair role. It's been tough. But probably important for professional development blah blah blah.

GB, what you said about "If only he would do XYZ etc" is hitting home for me right now. I've gotten into it with someone who I am totally infatuated with, we click in a lot of ways, but there is one key piece that we are completely different on, and that is in regards to timing/planning. I am very much someone who wants to know everything in advance, who won't cancel plans unless I'm basically dying, and who follows through on everything even if I decide it's not serving me well/really don't want to do it anymore (there's some good and some bad there right? growth opportunity somewhere..) whereas he is someone who is very go with the flow, spontaneous, doesn't think much of changing something at the last minute if a different opportunity comes up. It's been a struggle. Still navigating it all and seeing if it's worth overcoming, and how much of it is compromise and communication vs. trying to get someone to change which is no bueno (for example, we've talked about how I'll let him know if something is a Big Deal and he needs to be there, vs. things he can come with me to or not and I'll be fine without him, and how he will try to be more realistic about how long it takes him to get home from work, get ready, etc.) If nothing else it's been a good lesson in letting go of some more of my controlling aspects in favor of what's actually important/matters. Example - we did some fourth of july plans that were not "planned" to the extent I would have liked ("are you suuurre we can eat dinner at 7 and still make it to the fireworks...") but it all turned out great and beautifully and I had no reason to be anxious. Otherwise, he loves cats, which is important