These are all great points you both have brought up. I believe the hardest part is trying to figure what your spouse actually respects anymore. Because in the middle of this nonsense, it seems as if the WS respects nothing at all.
This is the fog of the wayward mindset. You're right, they respect nothing during this time. Especially themselves. That's why so many times affairs go far beyond just the spouse. They neglect children, cut loose good friends trying to wise them up, even parents. They stop going to church, etc. etc.
They know what they're doing is wrong but they're in a vortex sucking them downward and can't figure a way out. My own wife has told me many times she would have loved to change, she knew she was wrong, but she just couldn't. That would make her bitter and even nastier to be around.
