On Higher Ground

[roist]

hawho,

I have a question about the period that you were depress. How did you see the role of your H in regards to improving things? I am asking how your depressed self wanted H to act. During mine I wanted things to improvebbut was clueless and incapable of doing anything to improve things. I remember being disappointed that W did not do more to help me/us. That enhanced my feeling alone and hence my depression. My question is just out of curiosity to see if you felt similarly.

I don't think I expected W to magically fix everything/us but I did want her to try. Afterwards she said she had tried a lot, without effect. Looking back I can now see some efforts she made that I didn't see at the time. They were weak and not ideal but they took place. One thing I cannot ignore is that she stayed. That is an undisputed fact.

Having gone through depression I know how helpless it feels, I understand the inability to act/improve and I am aware that whilst depressed a person is not themselves. This does not excuse everything but helps accept the situation.

We got through our depressions. Our spouses are now going through something similar. Our experience can only help us. Plus if we can do it, why can't our spouses? Trust me I know this feels endless but it will end. Maybe our spouses will remain stuck longer than we decide to stand. It is a possibility but so too it is possible they come out of it before that. Either way time will tell. For now we can only live the best that we can

Best wishes