Hi 25 - my dad and I both know it won't change anything. My dad just wanted to get some of it off his chest because he's so heavily involved in our lives.
So my goal - well I am here because I don't want a D... I don't say to save my M because I don't want THIS man. He is broken. I want the man I committed myself to, the man I married, the man he's been since we R.
My goal is for my boys to grow up in an intact family.
I am fearful ... scared... anxious... really really feel like this IS it... that because this is the second time. There is NO coming back for him. His actions are speaking so loud.
I feel everything I do just pushes him further away. I was gone with the boys all day. He was out looking st houses while we were gone (he doesn't know I know that). He came home and I had the boys getting in the car as he pulled up. I offered for them to stay home with their dad for the night. He said no they can go with you they'll have more fun. I didn't acknowledge. He said see ya later T and closed the door and we left for the night. We're going to stay at my moms tonight I've tried to make myself very scarce around him. We've probably exchanged 20 words in the last week if that.
Like I said L said I cannot force him to not come here ... he can come and go as he pleases. Also IF I have asked him to stay the night to help with the baby (like I did last month) it defeats the purpose of now asking him not to stay.
My dad said the same.... yes he's not really helping here but he is coming here like I asked. However we had agreed it would only be 2 days a week on mondays and Wednesday evenings. It's now turned into almost every night UNLESS he has other plans. I don't take it as a positive sign he's staying more. He doesn't even keep a toothbrush here or wash his clothes here.
We don't communicate about anything there's no discussions of plans he just comes and goes. I never know if he's coming here or not. The last two nights he did text me he was on his way but prior to that he would just show up.
This is and isn't similar to last time. The main difference is last time he wouldn't be in the house if I was here. So if it plays out like last time he will stop giving me money if I piss him off. I can't afford that right now.
So my dad said I just need to eat the [censored] sandwich I'm being given and just let him come here and let him keep paying everything. So that's why I've made myself scarce. Didn't go home til 1 last night and saw him maybe 5 minutes total today. Tomorrow I'm taking the boys on the boat so we will be gone all day and don't be home til late. Then he will be at work all week so I won't have to worry about anything until next weekend. S9 has a soccer tournament. This will be our first time around all the parents since H left. I'm a little anxious about how this is going to go because I'm not sure if I should let him drive with us. It's out of town and would be nice to have his help with the tent and coolers but I know the other dads would help me. Not sure what I'll do
