Here again part 9

[T384]

I really enjoy how ...articulates herself. It's quite entertaining. She says mostly all of the things you wonderful people here have already told me over and over again.


I'm in a difficult/weird place. H still came here last night. I wasn't home. Didn't tell him of plans or anything. We don't typically hear from him all day. Last night he text me around 7 to tell me he had 30 more minutes before he would 'head my way' I responded 'no need to come by tonight, the boys aren't home right now anyway'. He never responded. He ended up going to my house around 830. He text me around 930 asking if the boys and I had dinner or if he should get something. I just said 'yes we've eaten' and didn't talk after that. I didn't come home with the kids until 1am ... we were st a friends house about an hour and. A half away from home. I came in showered the boys and put everyone to sleep. H came in to say goodnight to me and that was it. He left this morning to take the boys to get their haircut. Asked if I wanted to come I declined the invitation.

So legally as per the L I met with I cannot stop him from coming here. I can change the locks but he can change them right back. Even if he doesn't financially contribute this is still his house. So I've told him not to. One. He still does. Do I just keep saying no need for you to be here?

Side note : my dad and H are super close like I'm sure I've mentioned a million times. Throughout this entire process my dad hasn't said 2 words to H about what's going on. He said it wasn't worth it and wouldn't make a difference and I agreed. Well I guess my dad and H had an hour long conversation here last night. Well not a conversation. It was more my dad just getting everything off his chest. He said he feels better having laid it all out for H last night. He said H didn't say much besides yes okay and that there wasn't someone else. My dad basically just told him he was given the gift of a lifetime to come back into our lives. The grass isn't greener it's mowed differently. That he may be happy now and for a few years but that he will regret his decision for the rest of his life. He will forever change his relationship with his boys and that the happiness of this new life he thinks he's creating will fade. He told H not to come back last.time that he would do it again. Basically just a ton of stuff. He said he knows it doesn't make a difference but just wanted him to know all this family stuff is stopping. No more boat trips fishing trips with my family no more dinners hanging out watching sports. He said I love you H but I love my daughter more and my loyalty and our families loyalty is to her and the boys. We cannot support you in walking out on her a second time. You think my relationship with her mom is how you two will be ? You are very wrong. You are walking out on your family a second time with annewborn. All of these relationships will come to an end. You think everything g is going to be okay and life will continue on the way it was you just won't be married. You are very wrong about that. All the things we have done all the family outings we have done are because SHe has asked us all to include you for the sake of her family. Just remember that. He said he was very nice but very to the point of you are about to see what you're life is going to be like. The last few weeks are no clue of what it's going to be like that's not reality.

I know it does nothing I know family shouldn't get involved. I didn't ask my dad to do this. He is a big part of our family and he and my H are or we're pretty much best friends. I know he's not in. A place to absorb anything but I know it was important for my dad to get his feelings out. If it causes more harm so be it.

So I need to figure out how to enforce these boundaries. I'm going to take the boys out for the day after they get home from haircuts. I won't invite H but if he tries to come?? Just say I don't think that's a good idea? I suck at this. Last time it was easier because he was never around and never wanted to spend time with the kids if I was there