Because I felt she was trying to feel the desire to work on our M again.
Because I was hoping that her going through MC and hearing C say that contact with OM is not a good idea and how it's about what we both put into the relationship that this would make W realize that we have a long hard road ahead of us but that the longer OM is involved the harder it will be.
Because I trust my W when she says OM and her are friends.
Because I know I need patience and also need to sin for my failures as a H.
Because I don't want to end things even though I know they should be ended because of financial reasons beyond emotional reasons.
Because I see progress and every step forward I want it to be a larger step.
Because I think her talking to OM might make it easier on her.
Because I don't know if I can trust her saying nice things about me while also saying she doesn't know yet.
Because she changed wanting to go to MC because of wanting to end things peacefully to maybe wanting to see if she can feel she wants to work on it.
Because I would hate knowing I am a failure at 40 with no kids and pretty much sacrificing that. I was okay not having kids because she didn't want kids but now I wonder if I made the right choice.
Because I have gone for dual citizenship here and I would lose my native country's citizenship unless I am married to a US citizen.
Because I am stubborn and a fighter and I hate giving up.
