That's for the positive feedback, I have been thinking fairly positive for the most part but I do have some bad times and that's usually when I post on here hah! It's so strange cause I truly feel in my heart that this isn't the end of us I can explain it but it's a feeling I've had the entire time. I really feel like a lot of. Is still has to do with the Ivf and miscarriages cause she's really checked out of life all together, all she wants to do is just have fun with her friends and family and. It worry about anything else. That also makes me feel like she's overall depressed cause everytime I see her she doesn't look happy, and maybe that's cause she's seeing me and that makes her unhappy. Either way I can clearly see the pain and hurt in her eyes still when I look at her and it kills me knowing I contributed to that pain.
I will continue to 180 my life I've read countless books, getting in the best shape I've ever been in, going out with friends as much as possible. Flying to the Caribbean tomorrow (on a trip I booked for both of us the day after the miscarriage) but I'll make the best of it cause like you said I can't let her take me down her sad path. She's in turmoil for sure, I am too but I need to drag myself out of it and carry on, still praying for recon but making the best out of life if and when that day comes. And I'll be so prepared for recon with all the things I've learned and discovered about myself, about her needs and just about Nanking get a M work all together.
Things will get better I know it, with or without her..... stilling praying with her of course.
