It has been quite a while since I last posted anything on these boards...I still read others situations and try to take advice, but haven't posted about myself or to anyone else. I really believe to get help you need to give it, so I am going to try to get back to reading and responding.
Not much has really changed in my situation. Husband is still gone, still not officially divorced. He initiated the process, but since I don't want it I have done the minimum to respond only when required.
I still struggle with letting go and not wondering what he is doing. While we have 50/50 custody of the kids H is not happy because I am not flexible with him when it's convenient. I struggle because I know the kids need their Dad, but he is the one who didn't want a family or marriage anymore so I feel like I don't need to go out of my way to make life easier for him.
I've learned that he has a "friend" who comes around a lot and does things with him and our kids. I am fairly certain this is the same "friend" who helped him make the decision to leave a few years ago (I believe she got divorced around that same time). I know I can't control what he does and who he spends time with, but I absolutely hate that my kids are around this person who I feel helped split our family. I've stated to him that I'm not comfortable with the kids seeing this "relationship" but I know there is nothing I can do about it. The kids continue to ask me questions and tell me they wish they could just do things with their Dad, but all I can respond with is "You need to talk to your Dad about that"
I continue to go out with friends and do things for myself when the kids are with their Dad, but any other suggestions on ways to help me move past this? It's been so long I thought things would be better by now....and while they definitely are I still have soo far to go
M: Early 40s H: late 30s 2 kids under 10 M: 15 yrs BD: 7/14 S: 10/14
