Thanks for the insight on the communication Blu and Another ... outside perspective besides mine is good because when I think my communication is 'right' it obviously isn't from a DB standpoint.
25 - I think I'm getting there with detachment. I'm accepting well getting there on what is right now.
Two nights ago H was here... long story short he told me he was 'done' that it was over he's moving on with his life. And no I didn't bring up this conversation. Someone can only take so much and that him being gone has made him realize how happy he is without me. That he looks at me and feels nothing for me besides being the Mom of his boys. That he will always love me because of that but doesnt love me or have feelings for me as a wife. I replied as curtly as I could and just said I was sorry he felt that way. I understand how he could feel that way after being here and having weekly talks about our future. I then said I was sorry he felt there was better out there for him. I told him it was no longer in my best interest for him to continuing coming here and staying the night. He said we can still do things as a family go to dinner do things wit the kids. I told him no. You have removed me as your wife so WE are no longer a family. He said so what's best for the kids is us to do those things and that's how you're going to be. I said well what's really best for the kids is to be in an intact family but that's not an option so the rest will get sorted out. I didn't yell cry or anything. I got up after saying that and went to my room.
He still showed up here the last two nights. Came in said hello, took the baby so I could do my homework. Text me about some bills he was taking care of and has come in to say goodnight which he had never been doing. PLEASE don't read into me explaining these things as I think they mean anything. I don't.
I'm taking the day to enjoy the boys and will be tackling the issue of him continuing to come over after I enjoy the weekend with the boys. After digesting that conversation I just needed to focus on school my test and my papers that were due. Everything was completed as of last night so today is my first day off to enjoy it. I made a few calls to other L yesterday to set up a few more consultations. Plus even if I don't use them it just means H can't since I had a consult and it's a conflict of interest
I can confidently say he has no idea the road he is about to embark on. He really thinks we're going to be buddies.
Plus I swear if I have to hear I'm done or I'm moving on or it's over one more time my head might spin around and explode.