WAS OR WHAT 10

[roist]

A good question Gordie. One I would need all weekend to answer properly. In essence I would be naive to believe our situation has not affected our parenting and hence the boys. But I believe that affect is limited.

Indirectly we are not giving them roll model I would prefer as to how a couple should be. But when they go to bed, they know/see us together (usually on the couch) if they come down. It is important they see us having adult time together, so that is a positive.

We do coparent together and back each other up in front of the kids. It is more of a tag team effort than working together. But we both love our boys and both work towards what is best for them. Another positive.

But we don't discus issues as fully as I think we should and this surely has a negative effect on how we parent. Room to improve there.

My W has a closer R with boys, partly because she works roughly the same hours they are at school and hence has more time with them. But mostly because she is invested in being a good mother. That is positive.

Our boys are a handful at times. Good but very spirited boys. The youngest is going through a long phase of not wanting to cooperate. It is amazing to see my W use loads of different techniques I read about. I try too. She says it is up to us to find thevspproach that will work. Two positives in that. Firstly she is seeking solutions and secondly it is US. But let's just say the books and videos make it appear easy. I believe he will get through this phase .it is a stress, but a common /shared one.

I am a better father than I would have been if I wasn't in my situation. Another positive. I have shortcomings I am working on.

For the moment our boys are IMO best served by having both of us home.

The topic is a lot deeper than this, but that is a good summary.