For the record, I never asked them to say a thing to her. But they care very much and every time they would call. They would ask my W if she had gotten things straightened out with herself and at least try to work on the marriage. Like I said one day W will realise all that she has lost chasing after OM who won't even put in the effort to deal with her. I just know that when that day comes my W won't know what to do with herself. And there's a strong possibility that she may try to cause harm to herself. So if she does beg for me to take her back one day. Then that's another issue that I'll have to deal with.
Tread, I wouldn't tell them not to say anything to her, but I wouldn't tell them to say anything either. If they ask you what you want them to do then ask them not to intervene. But if they're doing it on their own then let them. If your W says anything to you about it then just validate- "oh wow, I didn't know they were doing that, it must be frustrating, is that how you feel? I can understand why you would feel that way." You can't stop people from talking to her because let's face it, people love drama and they love to get in the middle of it! But don't "rally the troops" yourself. Does that make sense?
