Why is this a surprise? She did exactly what everyone told you she would do if you dropped the rope and moved on. Are you finally going to listen to people, because the next steps are even more important than the ones you have just been through.
When you wrote your post about how things don't affect you like they do other people and you don't need counseling, I just felt so sorry for you. I see a guy who is so closed up emotionally that he doesn't even realize it. You think you are on some higher plane than everyone else, but you aren't even in the same zip code right now.
It is normal and natural to have feelings. It is normal to be upset when someone leaves you and says they want a divorce and to move on. It is ok to have emotion. You don't have to gut through it. You can lay on the floor in a weepy mess, feel those feelings, and move forward from them.
Please, if you want a chance with your wife (or with some other woman in the future) get yourself to a counselor to find out why you are so locked up and don't let people in. I feel a bit like Ginger now. I know you will deny it and make excuses.
I just want to see you let this poor girl in so the two of you don't miss out on someone who seems to generally care about you.
