I really wish you could understand the kind of person I am and how I deal with things, it would be such a great thing. I get it. I give you the only info you all have on me, although not everything I say is read it seems. This isn't anything I am faulting anyone because it very likely can be the way I bring it across when I write. The way I write can also be a very bad representation of who I really am. I'm not trying to argue with anyone or think anyone is so wrong to say what you do. When I feel that there is not a clear understanding then I say something, but that always seems to come across as I do nothing but defend myself and I am never wrong.
OK, so I will fill you guys all in on what I just went through with my wife. I was working out in the gym at about 8:30 pm my time here in Hawaii so it's a 6 hours difference in Virginia, which means it was about 2:30 am her time. I start getting text messages from her. Here it is.
W: I wrote you something W: Will you read it W: Will you say something W: Anything W: I'm probably asking to much W: You're hating me W: Looking at you're phone wondering why I'm even bothering W: Wishing I would stop texting you W: Yet, you won't even dignify me with a responce. Guess you feel I've earned this. W: That i deserve it. Two stubborn people make fires....What can put the blaze out? W ......
I decided to respond.
ME: Hi ME: Can you give me some time
W: Yes W: Can we talk W: For 5 minutes? W: That's all I ask
ME: It's really late there......
W: I'm wide awake
ME: I'm at the gym with co-worker and we just got here ME: We came together is all and he is training with me. ME: Can you give me 30 min to finish with him. I have a 15 min walk back to the hotel too. Otherwise......
W: OK, enjoy training. W: I'm going to read W: I'm still up but if I fall asleep I'll call you tomorrow W: Reading can be pretty relaxing.
After some thinking while working out I responded to her on my walk back to the hotel.
ME: I got to be honest I'm not quite sure how I feel about this......
W: Talking to me? W: OK W: So....we don't talk at all? Not sure what you mean?
ME: Well I have had a lot to say for a long time......and I'm talking to you right now......I just don't understand any of this.
W: I see. I haven't been sure what to say. W: I don't know what to do now either. W: And I didn't know if I should leave you alone or not. I don't know....I've been thinking about flying to see you. Don't have the money. Had to put my car in the shop. It's been there a few days.
ME: I'm listening, it confuses me though.....
W: Are you done training?
I let her know after I got back to my hotel, but I wasn't really sure I even wanted to talk to her because I didn't know what good could come of it anymore. Anyway is getting really tired yeah its after 3 am there now, but she does call and right away I might add. I just say hello and stay quite. It's her turn to start and play the part I have been for so long.
She tells me she has been thinking a lot about things lately and thought about coming back, but wasn't sure if I would even talk to her for a long time or not, because in the past I have just been quite when I was upset with her. I'm sure as all you woman know, that the silent treatment is torture to you all, but men love it when done to them. HAHA! (Just a little joke) Anyway, I said a little here, but not much. She goes on to tell me that she wish I would have told her I was coming to Virginia because she would have made arrangement to see me, but without her car it wasn't something she could do. I just said I don't know what to say about that other than I did what I did and I came to see her, that is just how it was. She continues to tell me that she knows she is at fault for a lot of things and that she never thought I was going to hurt her or wanted to. She said that she doesn't thinking badly of me and has never stopped caring about me. She kind of contradicted some of the things she said about me to my buddies wife and to me. Long story short we talked about 40 min or so and it turned from relationship talk to just regular talk about things that happened, basically talking like we used to.
She was falling asleep and told me to enjoy my dinner and she would talk to me later. I have no idea what that means or if it means anything at all because it was a relatively short talk about us. I have no expectation of her even calling or talking to me tomorrow what so ever and the ball is in her court I suppose. Tomorrow I will go to work and hit the gum after and then enjoy Hawaii and I will continue to do that rather she calls or not.
One thing this has told me is that my going to Virginia, which was in my opinion, doing the exact opposite of what I was doing and it being a 180 that I may have been on the right track with that. When talking to her about it now it sounded like it was a good thing from her view and not something that scared her. I think what scared her is that I was finally giving up on her.
Further more she talked about future things with me. About jobs I should look for and how good I am at coaching and that I should make it a full time job. It' was by far the most normal conversation I have had with her in months since this thing started.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/10/1712:32 AM. Reason: Combine posts
