Once again here you come with the great advice. Just a question in regards to a 180 I've been working on. Neglect was my issue and I have turned that around big time. So how do I balance doing my own thing, while not neglecting W. Because to her, not paying attention to her just seems like business as usual.
I agree with Cadet, "neglect" is usually more of a tool in the WAS's toolbox to bring out as an excuse of "why it will never work" rather than a genuine problem in the M. Yes we become complacent in M and don't spend as much time with our spouse nurturing them and such, but that cuts both ways. It's not neglect, it's life. When you're single you can devote an inordinate amount of time to a R, when you're married and have jobs and kids, not so much.
Anyway, you're not in a position to show W a lot of care and attention right now, that is pursuit. However, when you do have interactions with her you can make sure to listen and validate. Read the thread on validation, it's great stuff. Listening and validating is a complete 180 for most of us guys and is one thing you CAN do effectively even if separated.
