Wife says that she had enough, files for divorce

[SwHubby]

My plan:

In my heart, I still want and hope for a reconciliation but I understand that it won’t happen soon. My wife is really hurt and unhappy I cannot see how she could come back to me at the moment. I also do not know if I really want her back right now. At least not the alien that has taken over my W.

I have read a lot online and also bought DR. I’m trying to LRT now.

- I put a lot of time in to selling the house
- Getting a broker
- fixing small things around the house etc.

Now I try to find out things for GAL. It’s hard since all my close friends live elsewhere (moved here to be close to W family). However, I try to make friends in my town as well at work. Met some guys for pool as well as board games. I also exercise daily. I either go for a run or a powerwalk, depending on how the body feels. Updating my wardrobe, make sure I get a nice haircut as well.

I also confronted my father (alcoholic, denying it), learned about our family history with depression and suicides that I was never told as a child and haven't talked about since growing up either. I always knew something was wrong thought. Been going in therapy before regarding my illness. I also started seeing another one about the divorce a couple of weeks after BD.

I try to be upbeat when I see W, going out for a run as soon as she picks our D up, not asking her anything unless she starts to talk to me. Only contact her to arrange for D or practical stuff like financial issues (if I have too).

There could perhaps be another man in the background. If so, I think it would most probably be an EA.

Some questions:

Is there really a chance for us? I think I blew it big time when I challenged her regarding custody and so on regarding our D. She was cold but tried to get an amicable divorce before that, as long as she got full custody etc.

Based on my story, what do you think should be my next move?

How bad was the idea to sell the house? W pushed hard for a sale and I could not really keep the house by myself. We would have been selling it first thing after summer otherwise. However, I am still living in the house until the middle of Aug when the ownership formally changes.


This has been an emotional rollercoaster for sure, especially during the first 2 weeks after BD. I have never really thought that a divorce could be possible for us. I've seen on the board that it's not an uncommon belief.