You are off the charts angry about her not calling when she said she would. That stems from expectations. First, she not only was able to see you, which mad her not calling when she said she would which makes her so disrespectful, not caring about your M, and all the other things you mentioned. Because you have all these expectations about when and how she should be answering you.
What did she mean by "not that you would care?" She was giving you a reason why she couldn't see you. Because you snuck in on her and she wasn't there. She is saying you wouldn't care what her reason is, not that you don't care about her.
Is she asking for closure now? I don't think she is. She does want to talk, but if you feel she missed the boat and its not going the way you want it to, don't do it.
But really, I think she froze when it came to talking to you. She was processing your surprise trip and was probably scared.
