hey there brother, i visit to read and keep up, just do not post as time just not allowing me the luxury these days.
Originally Posted By: roist
I used to wonder if I got lucky and decided to save myM just before it was too late. I started trying before I got bombed. Time will tell on that one.
Probably some truth in that statement. The resentment was already in place though. It just hadn't fully converted to contempt like we see with so many of the other situations (mine included). We cannot take that resentment away or fix it. Wife needs to chose to let whatever it is go on her own. THAT is the her struggle.
You keep paving a path towards loving yourself and in the process, giving an example to her of how it is done to your wife. The reward is that YOU will eventually find that happiness that YOU have always been looking for. If your wife never chooses to find her road, it will be sad, but that is not your burden to carry.
I think that of all the shortfalls in my marriage, lack of intimacy, giving, etc. the biggest disappointment is that despite all of the effort towards trying to please my wife, i have fallen short. That is on me and my expectations. It is a burden that i've carried all these years and part of detaching is teaching that i can lay that one down. It was never my responsibility to begin with. How much of my self-worth was tied up in trying to please her...someone who is never satisfied.
I hope someday she will find peace and lose the misery. But we can't just sit by and wait, that day may never come and the precious years go by so fast now.
I am proud of you for all that you have accomplished these last months and years. Your race sounded amazing (wish i could have seen you finish), you have been getting out and being YOU. There is still much room to grow and you are starting to really blossom.
I don't know what brought me here today, i wanted to say hi and that your effort towards a better you, your patience and your love for your wife and family are a beacon that i have followed for so long. Thank You!!!!
BTW, if you remember my skating team...i posted some pics there on the last FaceBook post
