25yearsMLC - 10 yrs Later I File D (pt 5)

[25yearsmlc]

I always knew in my heart of hearts that my ex could not be relied upon if some health catastrophe ever happened to me. A terrible thing to think about your husband of 24 years but true.

there are some ugly truths i either didn't look at closely, or avoided, or truly did not know until now. And yes, they are ugly. I guess they are also survivable, aren't they?

And now that all three of our children in their twenties have mental health issues, he is proving to be pretty useless there as well. He doesn't cope well with the disappointment of having imperfect (but wonderful) children.

Ugh, this^^ pushes a button in me for sure. Ouch.

h hasn't spoken to our 2 oldest in months, (*s31 was h's pride & joy), so I have to believe when the kids are older (AND WHEN H IS OLDER and feeble)

they'll rebuild something. As for d19 - "the troubled one"< which makes it easier for him to blow off her open disappointment in him,

well, I think she embarrasses him. Her being gay feels like a reflection upon him, I"m positive. God, as I write that, I'm more appalled than before. Which is saying a lot...screw him.

It's true that our youngest also openly states she has an issue with men hurting her...hmmm, huge mystery there. What could she mean? Where'd that come from? (God forbid he work on that, like by showing up...)


The great thing for you is, your future is wide open now. You can get out there and take risks, do things YOU want to do without your ex's negative comments on your ambitions.

the first part -unsure -as I'm 57 and have huge gaps in my resume. No personal regrets about being a SAHM, but lots of professional ones. This was not the life I planned.

The rest of this^^ about taking risks- I feel a sense of urgency lately. Like I"m wasting yet more time waiting to see how the court goes...and financial issues settle.

The last clause ^^resonates. What would I do if h were not here to smirk or scoff??

OH, LET'S DO THAT! yes that occurs to me more, and I like it.


This has been the biggest positive from my divorce. I am doing work I love, and have made a big enough name for myself that I am invited to lecture to other physicians. I learned to play the drums at 53, then a little vibraphone and glockenspiel. My best friend, a professional singer songwriter, had me play on her latest album and just begged me to join her for part of a tour opening for a famous band from the 80's. I've written a chapter in a medical book and would like to write more.

None of this would likely have happened if my ex had stayed. This isn't the life i expected, but in some ways, it's better. If you throw off the shackles of doubt and just get out there, great things can happen. We women are at the height of our powers at this stage in life!

I needed to read this today.

thank you