Here again part 9

[25yearsmlc]

T0 - sorry...

you are getting great feedback. What Bluwave said really resonated with me - for you, and I hope you will read her words, again.

Sometimes I think there is skimming going on with you b/c you'll outright say you must let go, and are working on moving forward and

accepting that he's NOT the man for you now and you're working on that,

but 2 hours later you'll post about how to behave around him or how to text him something so that you can "sound like 'X' but not too much of 'Y'"...and the loop repeats.

The brutal reality is that your h is not available for you now. So, Other than making things more annoying for either one of you, by small choices of daily interactions,

the reality is you have only one course of action available for your sanity. And it's to detach soooooo much more than you have been and so much more consistently.

I know it's hard and it's not linear!

Maybe the harder thing for you (which I recognize from personal experience) is that deep down we suspect this 2nd time around, the whole DB and GAL and PMA stuff is not nearly as likely to work itself out. I bet that is empirically verifiable, okay?

But That ^^ changes nothing. You still have to detach, probably more so.

Without detachment, you won't get to the other side of this. Without detachment you will continue to spin and cycle, and spew now & then (which your h richly deserves, but which gets you nowhere),

and after a bit, your baby will turn 1, or 3 or 5...??


I can say from experience that (other than not hoarding money),

my biggest regret is spending so much time not believing what was in front of me - until it was too obvious to ignore, and too energy consuming for the illusion to remain.

You said you have the legal info you need, correct? Okay so,

Here is the good news.

Your course of action to save this marriage - is the exact same course of action you must take to save yourself.

Does this^^ make sense to you?