advice please

[CW2017]

Hi all thank you all for the kind advice.
Again I apologise for the lack of updates but it was getting to the stage where the limbo was eating me alive and my suspicion that they had arranged a hotel rendezvous was just the catalyst I needed to confront.
It turned out they didn't go though with it (for whatever reason).
To be honest I feel a different person since the "conversation" and my ceasing the snooping.
It is highly likely they are still interacting on a certain level (I'm not that naive).
However she goes to the MC on Saturday and after that we start the joint sessions.
I would rather everything came out there (we are with the biggest outfit in the UK, Relate, so I am presuming they will just facilitate us making our minds up rather than facilitating a divorce).
I will certainly know immediately if she is being sincere or not.
The only time she really got slightly aggressive during our conversation was when I said we need to consider any long term damage to our daughter (7 is such a crucial year and is quite often termed the "age of reason", so I don't buy into any theory that says they adapt to anything).
But if she is still in the fog maybe she doesn't realise what would happen to her family even though I have warned her already what I will do.

Promise I'll update ASAP!