A few weeks ago, she mentioned that she hoped we could get back together after we both completed our therapy and things were better.
Your therapy is for you, not to shape you into someone who can cope with someone up repeatedly leaves you, correct? I am pretty certain that you know that, but does W?
Because I'm getting the impression that she may see your IC as benefiting her. Why? What was so intolerable that she had to go? And does she think your live continues to revolve around her?
DB involves letting go and not trying to control someone who has left you. Note that she's trying to control you and your choices and that's not cool.
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I'm not really sure why she is mentioning my therapy. A few weeks ago, she mentioned that she hoped we could get back together after we both completed our therapy and things were better.
I know that W is fishing for some sort of commitment from me but I'm not sure why. It almost feels like she wants me to commit to being with her while we live apart. That makes zero sense to me. We break up, but not really?
You know this, Thornton!
Because she's putting herself first. She wants you to help her feel more confident about her decision to leave you, and knowing that she's secured you if she wants you will significantly lessen her worries that she's made a mistake. If her actions are reversible, she'll have the confidence to really get out there and search for happiness, and a built up ego while doing so.
She wants to know you'll hold tight as her back-up plan, and you know that is not fair to you. She wants to leave you behind but also keep you attached to her.
Work with your counselor to see these texts for what they are - bait - so you don't end up holding onto emotional attachments that you should be putting behind you.
I don't think your W is a bad person, but I do think she is very manipulative and invested in what you can do for her. If she put any thought into this, a "Boy, it's really unfair for me to leave him and then keep reaching out to him" might cross her mind, but she doesn't appear to be thinking of you.
Much like leahsue's former-situation with all of the contact with her H, I am both envious of all the contact and relieved that I don't have to deal with it. It does add in some extra challenges.
