Hello KGuy, welcome to the forums! It sounds like you are very well prepped coming in which is great You've already done a ton of reading so well done!
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Now, here we are almost four months after her filing and our 4 year marriage (10 year relationship) will be gone it appears. My head is spinning still.
And it will be for a while. That's normal. Just try to focus on you and what you can do to become a better person.
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I've pretty much resigned myself that the marriage will be ended since it is moving so quickly
It sounds likely, but as we're fond of saying around here D is just a piece of paper. It can actually help your sitch because afterwards your W may start realizing that D wasn't the answer and it didn't solve all her problems. That can trigger the internal discovery that a lot of WAW's need to go through.
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I flip flop though and sometimes just tell myself i could do better as she can be pretty self centered (even without the baby funk) and has issues.
Well that does happen a lot, by the time the WAS starts coming out of the fog and thinking about recon the LBS has moved on to the point where they don't want a relationship anymore. I wish more LBS's took a long term view and said "I'm going to give this a couple of years before I start a new R or completely give up on this" because often it does take that long or longer for the WAS to come around.
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I feel that she effectively is sick and i want to honor the vows i made before God, in particular "in sickness and in health".
Try not to look at it as something being wrong with her, because you need to own your part in it and work on improving yourself. DBing isn't about simply waiting it out, it's about making yourself into something new. More attractive, more independent, stronger. Give your W a reason to want you!
You've already done a ton of reading so well done! 
