Me: Hey, you got a package here today. S6 swears its for him haha H: Oh ya, I'll get it tomorrow it's a tshirt I got for my boss (the female he is living with). I'll be staying at her house tonight. I am getting up early and working at another shop tomorrow morning. Me: oh okay, my mom said she thought she saw you when she was leaving the grocery store (my mom lives right by where his bos s lives)
T- your interactions with H are sounding a little too chummy I think, given that he's actively engaging in an A. I would suggest being a little more business-like:
Me: Hey, you got a package here today. S6 swears its for him haha
H: Oh ya, I'll get it tomorrow it's a tshirt I got for my boss (the female he is living with). I'll be staying at her house tonight. I am getting up early and working at another shop tomorrow morning.
Me: oh okay, my mom said she thought she saw you when she was leaving the grocery store (my mom lives right by where his boss lives)
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I don't plan on replying but PART of me wanted to be sarcastic and say how thoughtful of you, or you're such a nice guy to do that so her boyfriend doesn't have to. HENCE I don't believe for a second he's building a crib. This daughter doesn't even live with the mom, so he's going to build the crib at her house and transport it put together to the house she lives at?
So is this an opportunity for me to say something like that or do I just not respond?
Don't respond. You're still super-focused on H, it's time to back off and think about YOU.
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I want to speak from a sense of power. A sense of H - I am not going to listen to your BS anymore.
SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES. Burn that into your mind :-) If you're done with his BS then there's no need for sarcasm, snippy remarks or nagging. Simply be quiet.
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But I need to do this as an action and not a reaction. So any help is appreciated. I thought about sending a text at some point this week, Hey H, keep an eye on your email, I am sending you a proposed schedule for the boys. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!
Again, be business-like. And don't send a message that you are going to be sending him a message, LOL! Just do the schedule and send it to him, say something like "proposed schedule attached."
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So anyone with any advice on how to start standing up, being less of a doormat, not putting up with his [censored], I'm all ears.
See above :-)
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IF he put half as much effort into being a part of OUR family as he does the boss's family I wouldn't even be having this conversation in the first place. He is so concerned with EVERYONE else but us.
I think the jury is still out on whether he's MLC, but this type of behavior is very consistent with MLCers. It's the classic "my spouse has been stolen and replaced with an alien" scenario. You simply cannot expect your H to behave like he used to, he's checked out for the time being.
