This latest update tells me you're going to be just fine either way. Even though she's a "wears the pants" type of person, all organizations, no matter what they are, including marriages, can have only one leader. You're the king of your castle. The leader of your family. If you get complacent in that role that opens the door for someone else to usurp your role.
Your new boundaries are great. Stick to them and don't be a pushover ever again. If your spouse, or anyone, says you're trying to control her, and that's a popular argument from wayward spouses, you tell them you can't control them in the slightest. They are free to make their own choices. What you can control is yourself and if they choose to keep disrespecting you then you can walk away from this marriage and you'll be just fine. Your integrity is still intact. Hers isn't. Her AP's isn't. You could leave clean and with a bright future. They'd be stuck with an immoral cheating affair partner. Not much of a prize for either of them.
