The reluctance to leave her job will be my main focus in the counselling sessions whether she is playing me like a violin or not.
This happened to me. I was fed nearly every excuse in the book from my wife and our terrible MC as to why she shouldn't quit.
W said repeatedly that her interractions with OM were rare now, and she would schedule meetings when he wasn't around in order to avoid him. When I saw on social media that he got promoted and he would be her supervisor, did she step up and quit on the spot. That finally showed me her true dedication to our marriage. Had she offered me some lame excuse, I'd be out of the marriage.
My biggest regret is not forcing her to quit that job when first found out. My new IC helped me realize this, my old IC and MC were just enabling idiots. My reconciliation suffered horribly all the time they worked together. Now that they're apart (a year later), we're doing much better.
I'm of the opinion that once an affair happens in the workplace, you're done there. Had I had an affair, I would've quit out of respect. The line of BS both my W and MC fed me was so detrimental to our recovery that I'm surprised we made it through.
Me: 52 Her: 48 2D 26 & 16 M: 25 years (together 30) EA/discovered by accident Valentines day 2016 Admitted SOME physical but no IC. We know that's a lie. Status - tryin to R
