The point really is to detach. Separation helps a lot. I moved out last week. I am not emotional and thinking about hope etc much less, pretty much only when I start googling and reading stuff/When commenting here. At work I'm not even thinking about her.
The point of the 180 is to get yourself back, not your wife. She does what she does and you can't control it. Pursuing would only get her back if she felt guilty enough to override the decision, in which case the relationship would never last long. Your old relationship is dead. She needs to walk the path herself and see what she really wants. Realize how she contributed to the fall of the marriage. Meanwhile you make yourself the best man ever. Someone who is happy and determined to go through life whatever happens.
There really is no guarantee that you get back together. We need to support each other and just keep improving ourselves. Better days will come! Write, write and write.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
