My heart is still broken in a million pieces and I'm just trying to figure out how to stand up for myself when he lies.
I feel hopeless for any future R between us. He is showing me he doesn't give 2 shits about me. I had the boys call tonight I make a point not to get on the phone. He doesn't say goodnight or anything like he was 2 weeks ago.
I need to start believing him that this is it. I need to really let go. I am working at it. It will happen. I will throw in the towel.
I don't know why I keep looking at him as the man he was and keep having these expectations of him. I know I have to stop that. I don't know why it's so hard for me to separate that that is not who he is anymore. I miss my best friend. I miss the person I knew I could call and he would do anything for. The person that cared about me and how my day was. I wish I felt like I mattered. That I was appreciated for everything I do for our boys and our life so that he can come and go as he pleases. I feel so alone.
Oh well. Lots of working on me and letting these things go.
Thanks Zues
I forgot to say earlier I am sorry to hear about your son
