1.5x3.5 gave me a laugh (I'm familiar with the suit).
My status:
1. Basically NC with STBXW for two weeks now. She tries to talk to me. I don't bite unless it's about D. I actually got a text asking "why are you so angry with me?" That made me even more angry, and I just want to yell, but it's not worth it, anymore. Divorce should be final in less than three weeks. Wanting the fantasy has been burned out of me.
2. D is starting to show signs that this is getting to her. She likes talking about how brave she is that she doesn't cry. When she does cry, it's the saddest thing ever. I had to hold her this week and she begged me to "please marry mommy." Made me like STBXW even less. On Tuesday, we went out for dinner. Getting out of the car, she was mad at me and threatened to "beat me to death." I told her that we don't EVER talk to anyone else like that, under any circumstances. When I asked her who had told HER that, her answer was "mommy." Made me like STBXW even less.
3. GF and I are back together. I still have work to do on me. She still has work to do getting through her hurt and anger over Father's Day. We both agree that we cannot do that work for each other, and that we both need to do our work. It's going well. I realize that no one here has a high opinion of this choice, but I'm not changing this one.
4. In NJ visiting family this week. REALLY looking forward to it. Not having family near is tough on many levels. I haven't been "home" in about three years.
5. Birthday was Thursday. Should have been, by all rights, a terrible day. No presents, no cake, no one singing happy birthday, just D and I out to dinner by ourselves at her favorite restaurant (which is actually a nice restaurant and not anywhere you'd expect a six year old to love). Instead of being awful, though, it was great. I got birthday greetings from all over the world (literally), and a stack of handmade cards from GF, with instructions to open one every 30 minutes. They ran from the time I woke up until the time I pick D up from school in the afternoon. Some (most) were punny, some were sweet, a couple were romantic, one or two were risque. No one has done anything that nice for me since Bill Clinton was president. Spent the weekend with GF and some of her extended family that were visiting. Being in a large group of strangers is usually a recipe for me to either shut down or end up exhausted after burning all of my energy being social. Instead, I had a GREAT time. Can honestly say that this is the best birthday I've had in decades, and probably the best weekend I've had in even longer.
We had a "biggest loser" contest at work, which ended Friday. In the last 9 weeks, I've dropped 24.8lbs, 8ish% of my body weight. I'm 3lbs shy of being down 90lbs since all of this started.
GAL goes ok. I started writing again, which I haven't done in years. It'll be something I can read to D when it's finished. She liked the first chapter quite a bit. Writing replaced flying in my GAL plan for now (anxiety + depression = grounded pilot). Soccer goes ok when weather cooperates. Skipped this week and next due to travel. It makes me feel fantastic (not during... I want to DIE during).
I'm being a good dad. D gets her friend times, and her homework time, and I cook for her three nights a week (we have one daddy-daughter date night normally. Two this week because of birthday), make her lunch everyday. We read together every night. Quality time will pick up end of this month when I start getting her on weekends sometimes (I won't get her 3rd because divorce won't be final yet, but I will get her 5th weekend because there is one). I'm looking to having some great times with my kid.
Trying to find a little more "me" time to help with GAL and self improvement.
My C told me not to read the suggested book, that there was nothing to be gained in doing so.
TL;DR: For the first time in quite a while, I'm almost fully functional, actually KNOW what I'm doing, and am not afraid of my future.
