Having one of those "its really happening" moments again. Wondering if I am doing everything right.
W initiated a talk, primarily about money, to see if we could afford for her to move out into her own place while I stay till the house sells. She mentioned again how she hates seeing me down. How she hates crying everyday so just needs to get out. She said she is powering through with all this because I told her I was done living in limbo the last time we discussed things.
We didn't dwell on much R talk and I didn't get emotional like she did. I mentioned that I did it as I am thinking of myself for the first time in all of this. Told her that she knows where I stand, what I want, which is not this, but the further she pushes me away the harder it will be for me to come back.
I cancelled a dinner together that we had had planned for a while. She asked about it, I said that was something I wanted to do as a married couple. If we are separated and not a "couple" then I guess we don't do things like that anymore.
Now I find myself sitting her at work wondering if I am doing things right. It just feels so wrong to go along with all this, giving her space when I want the complete opposite. I can only hope she snaps out of it one day before its too late.
