Focus - So nice that you've found such a nice guy! Sounds like he has done all the right DB things since his breakup, even though he hasn't been here! Shows he has good character.
Thank you. Yes, I have to admit, I was looking at the way that he dealt with things after. Both for himself alone and in the way that he communicated with his XW (they have 2 children that were 8 and 11 at the time...I think).
Originally Posted By: kml
About the divorce - do the paperwork yourself and send it. If you don't want to contact him for the address, can you ask someone else to contact him for you? I know it feels unfair that you have to do the work, but it will free you.
This is a great idea, thank you.
As with everything in this whole process, I've thought about things for a while, taken a small step forwards in some way, then shelved it for a while, before thinking about it for a bit again, and taking another step forwards.
From the outside it looks like nothing has changed, but I'm taking small steps.
Originally Posted By: kml
Also, be careful. I would interpret his question about your mortgage balance as worrisome; could he be trying to make a claim on it and wants to know how much equity is in it?
Yes, you're right, thank you.
In my previous life I would never have distrusted his motivations. But he's a stranger to me now and I have no idea what he's thinking/feeling. So thank you for reminding me of that.
Originally Posted By: kml
Sounds like you should be safe if joint funds were never used to pay the mortgage, but be careful.
Also, the house is legally mine. It was mine even before we ever met, so it's not considered matrimonial property. It was the second big thing I did for myself after he left. The first was changing the locks.
Actually, when I think of it, it's the third. The first was not pursuing him in any way: no calls, texts, emails...
Originally Posted By: kml
Also - congratulations on your almost paid off house! Check out the Mr Money Mustache website, I think it might resonate with you !
