Per the L he has every right to come and go here as he pleases. It is just as much his house as it is mine.
Are you sure? If so, could you not - when you make the schedule - tell H that you'd like some privacy? If he's left then you don't want him popping in and that you'd like adequate notice and ideally he should start taking the kids to where he's living.
This is what he wanted, so give it to him.
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The other thing H said to me before I left was that I always know everything. Like when he said he was leaving just for space for a week or two and I said I'm not stupid H you've done this before I know this story and how it plays out. He said ya because you know everything.
In the other stories you've read, when the LBS tells the WH that they're doing the same thing they've done before, how did that turn out. Did the W ever stop and say "You know, you might be right." or did it just cause them to want to prove the LBS wrong? Because those feelings are real and lasting this time and they know exactly what they're doing?
I did this, T0. It was before I found DB. I said, "you're doing the same thing you did in 2014 and it's going to turn out the same way." ... Guess who did not agree with me? Nope, it's real this time. Really really real. The whole "my life is a mess and I'm unhappy and it's all her fault" was just a coincidence!
He even made reference to it in MC. "I made a mistake when I came back. I should have stayed away from her." ... OUCH.
Also, if H says you know everything, my guess was that was him telling you he did not appreciate your mind-reading. Inherently, it is disrespectful to try to tell someone you know them better than they know themselves. And it is an invalidating trap that I have fallen into myself, in the past. Now I know better.
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I want to be done. I want to not care.
There's the D word! I'll let it slide, since you are referring to yourself this time. But I will remind you again, there are posts on this here forum where someone uses the D word and it just meant they felt like they wanted no more. But feelings change.
My guess is what you really want is detachment. So focus on finding that and not letting his actions impact you.
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I just don't know that I should make my statement about me. Because he says it's always what I want.
And that was applicable when you were together.
If he's left, all bets are off. If you were not worried about what you wanted after being left, you'd be quite a doormat, wouldn't you? And, in general, people - especially waywards - aren't attracted to doormats.
He left, and you can be darned sure that you're worried about what you want. To do otherwise would be insanity.
