We are the same age with a somewhat similar story. As a man I wanted to tell you what happened to me and a viewpoint from your husband.
I was a walk away husband in a sense. Not physically, but I checked out of life in general. Didn't care about much of anything for some reason. I gained 30 lbs, insecure, the whole 9 yards. My wife tried helping but was more nagging than anything. The more she said do this, the more I did the other. I got to a point where I just flat out didn't do what she said bc to me it was complaining. Then one day she started going to the gym (she's not athletic at all so it surprised me). Next thing you know, she's going like everyday and getting sexy as all get out. She started dressing differently. I could see the confidence in her, before she didn't have much confidence at all. I started noticing this but didn't say anything. Then it began driving me crazy, especially because she never asked me if I noticed. I'm thinking, man I want in, I don't want to be left in the dust. She basically divorce busted me! Then she left with another guy. That part is not very meaningful to the story but its why I'm here. The point is that she became more sexy, extremely confident, and started living life. I noticed big time and got scared. So maybe you can do what my wife did, I'd bet your husband would start to notice and get scared as I did.
Now I'm doing that to her and she's beginning to notice with a few Jerry Springer moments sprinkled in lol. Big cat and mouse game right now.
Just saying I would bet you can do that too and I would bet it would work. I mentioned the Jerry Springer moments so be prepared for those bc they are probably coming. When they come just dust yourself off and keep going, their is light at the end of the tunnel.
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
