But more so not wanting anything to be worse than it already is.
Hi T0's heart! I'm sorry for calling you dumb, but like all hearts in a state of heartbreak, you kind of are. Your strength is at other times.
T0 is having trouble applying advice she's receiving, because you're telling her it will make it worse. But you're an idiot, T0's heart. Stop whispering to her that you know what you're doing - you really don't. Every time she follows your advice, it accomplishes the opposite of what she wants for herself.
When she's stronger, and is less heartbroken, she can start listening to you again. But for now, please butt out and stop torturing the poor woman.
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He just left for the baby shower. I almost lost it on him spending an hour in the shower shaving himself and wearing new clothes. It's so disrespectful.
No, T0, it's not. He's not accountable to you any longer, and these emotions are you still seeing him as accountable to you. By his own choice, he's left that position.
You haven't set a boundary for him and he's still coming to her home. He's going to do what he's going to do in that situation. I think it's better to realize that you're mad at yourself for allowing your WH to primp in your bathroom because you haven't wanted to set some healthy boundaries yet.
You are struggling with him being there. Instead of torturing yourself, realize that this is a sign that it's time for a boundary, because you don't need this emotional turmoil. It's okay if you're not strong enough to handle him being there.
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He said when he left I'll text you later I'll come to the fireworks with you guys. I just said okay. But I think this is the perfect opportunity to have him NOT come.
I'm not sure. You already said "okay". If you'd reacted in the moment with a "Actually, I'm not sure about that", then yes, this would be a great place for boundaries.
Also...
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He's going out with whomever doing whatever he wants then coming for family time. I'm tired of sitting here like a weak woman like I'm just graced by his presence when he decides it's convenient for him to be around us.
You are angry and want to hurt him. That's not a good time to set a boundary, because this intention is going to come across.
When you set the boundary, it needs to be unemotional and it needs to be about you. Perhaps others think you could still do it with this instance, but I'm not sure it's time yet given you already said otherwise and you're feeling emotional and are liable to act out against your own self-interests...
